My mother is dying of Alzheimers and Parkinsons disease. There is fluid around her heart and in her lungs and her kidneys are failing. She refuses to go to the hospital and has a living will right on the wall by her bed. Vicky, her nurse, has said it’s only a matter of time and so we wait and relish every moment we have together. You see, my mother is also my very best friend. We have grown to love and respect each other as women, mothers, and writers. She writes beautiful poetry and has published three books so far. I am so proud of her and watching her slip from my grasp has been the hardest thing I have ever done.
So while I hold my mother’s fragile hand and wait for the Lord to take her home, we rejoice in happy things. The publication of two of my books, retirement from teaching, and best of all, the birth of my grandson Remington Crowe! His gentle nature mirrors that of his mother and he’s the apple of many a family member’s eyes. When I hold him, I feel calm, at peace, and connected to this world.
My brother Philip once told me that death was like walking from one room to another. I totally believe that because it means our loved ones will be waiting with the Lord on the other side. So as my mom and I get closer to that gentle passing, I try to keep one foot in this world and one in the other. Not an easy thing to do.